There will be no year-end review for this year. But, look forward to a refreshed and enlivened exquix.com in January 2006.
A World of Difference
I haven't written an entry so long that I almost forgot how to start (perhaps I did). Isn't it startling to find only three dailys since December 1st? I must admit, for all this time, I was in no state of mind to update, at all.
But here I am, looking back at my past 8 or 9 days, facing the past, regurgitating the feelings and emotions I have had. Great - I have no idea where to start.
Perhaps what had made me halt updating the most intimate connection with my readers was the deferral letter from Cornell on December 15th. It was dreadful, to start with. I had all the determination and anticipation of getting in and being admitted that my jaw dropped when I read "we've decided to postpone a final decision" 2 minutes after they released the decisions online. The most fortunate (or most unfortunate) thing I did was inviting my dad to sit beside me (in that mustard green sofa) before I clicked "check your decision." Of course, being the optimistic 'him' he has always been, he consoled my fiery mind that was about to send the command of sweep-the-notebook-to-the-floor to my limbs. It is difficult enough to face the disappointment without being pressured by your peers' success and other's views of you. It almost sink me back into the sort of depression at Taft.
Perhaps my parents saw this coming; perhaps they didn't. But the next next day we headed for a three-day trip to the Grand Canyon and Las Vegas, which was probably meant to free myself out of the post-exam strain and stress but really turned into a short retreat from college apps. We had fun. The canyons were breath-takingly gorgeous (you are strongly advised not to look down below the rails if you have acrophobia). Las Vegas was equally breath-taking in its own charming, money-lusting way. And no, we did not play any slot machines..
We came back on Monday. Needless to say, the next four days were dedicated mostly to college apps, and I just can't stop wondering what would have happened if I got in to Cornell (I really need to rid this thought out of my brain). It's just so unwise to fall in love with a college like that. I mean, when and why have I loved it in the first place?
"It's the most wonderful time of the year.." Today I stayed at home again, while my parents went out and bought some furnitures. We had a festive silent-night dinner in a simple sort of way in Café Spot. The food was, well, quite HK style. It seems suddenly full - I'm with my family again, eating and enjoying our dinner, slowly settling down and adjusting in a new place. But penetrating beyond the superficial, it is a world of difference. In every way the bland sceneries here remind me of my last Christmas in HK. In last year's December 24th dinner, we were pulling crackers and partying under the star-lit sky, the glistening choir of Wanchai's flashing lights in PC. It's difficult not to look back, especially when all your friends, surroundings and familiar comforts have changed.
Speaking of friends..well, take care. You are the energy, the backbone, the drive that make me continue doing what I've been doing because without you, I'm nothing. Thinking of you and hearing your stories not only tickles me but also imburse in me the desire to achieve more. Merry Christmas to you all.
Eugene
1:30am, December 25th, 2005
December 14, 2005
I dislike the sudden emptiness right after exam. Immediately after my Calc exam (which was, by the way, troublesome), there seems like a hole in the middle of my heart. Fortunately I didn't have much time to dwell on that since my bus left at noon, meaning that I had only 10 mins to finish packing up and saying "Merry Christmas!" to people I see down the hall. My first flight, from Hartford to St. Louis, took place on a tiny plane. How tiny? Each row only had three seats (A BC). There were no more than 50 ppl on it. It's so small that you need to walk onto it by stairs. Second flight from St. Louis to LA was fine. The worst thing about traveling on AA is that they provide no food at all (well, except a worthless pack of pretzels).
It's so nice and warm to be with my family again. Yeah, that's it for today. Good night.
Exam Schedule Fri: French Sat: Chem Sun: Physics Mon: English Tue: Math
December 7, 2005 Bleak Mid-Winter
So, it's been a few days since I've updated, ya? Everyday when I finally finish everything well-past midnight, my eyes can no longer keep themselves opened. And we're not talking about 1 or 2..but 3 or 4.
Gladly, we had our annual Christmas Carol Service last night in the White Congregational Church next to Walker Hall. And to my utter surprise, I was placed with a few singers along the bottom side of the stage! It was a starkly different last year, where I stood in the middle of the back row on stage. Well I did my part and thats all it matters..
Exams start on Friday. Fingers crossed! It's quite strange to think that in a week, I'll be in LA with my family..
Exam Schedule Fri: French Sat: Chem Sun: Physics Mon: English Tue: Math
P.S. You know when you feel really down, you suddenly feel better when you're around someone? I discovered that type of friend today.
December 3, 2005
The past few days have been really tiring for me. I had two assessments on both friday and today, and on both nights before, I slept around 3. Thinking of it, it definitely helped me do better.
It's the time of the year again, where everyone gets joyous and festive, where malls decorate and put up christmas trees. Well, despite my own complications, I sincerely hope that all of you will do well in your last few weeks of classes/tests/exams and enjoy your holiday.
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